Saturday, September 1, 2012

In Review: Blue Moon

We didn't get a chance to really "celebrate" the full moon yesterday as we'd hoped.  Our day went full-blast from 9:30 am until I finally fell into an exhausted sleep somewhere around 11pm.  Yesterday's events made me feel like the energies of the Full Moon (and Blue Moon) were present in my entire day though.

Most of our day was devoted to cars and cell phones.

I found a car that I liked, that is in our price range, but they wouldn't take my trade-in.  This morning, we'll be heading out to see if we can sell our car in a different way.  Unfortunately, this also means that I'm probably going to be without a car until next weekend.  The place we're going to try to sell it to does a bank draft and it's the weekend, so no telling how long it'll take the draft to clear.

Draco did get me a new phone yesterday since mine was acting like it'd been possessed by demons.  I got a T-Mobile My Touch and I absolutely love it!

In an unexpected turn yesterday, I saw my Dad.  Wasn't expecting to, but when I got my new phone, I got a new number and although I considered not even worrying about it, I couldn't make myself not call him and give him my number for emergencies.  He actually sounded much better.  Draco had left one of his old phones that he needed for work, so when Dad said he wanted company, I figured we'd give it a shot.

We did get Draco's phone, but more importantly, I saw Dad acting more like Dad than I have in I couldn't tell you how long.  He truly laughed, without the aid of Xanax or alcohol, for the first time since before mom got sick.

Apparently, he finally broke down and went to the doctor and discussed his medication with him (something I tried to get him to do when we were living there and he wouldn't.) and got his medication changed.  He's no longer on Xanax and what he is on seems to be helping much more.  No more slurred speech or staggering (in some people, the side-effects of Xanax can mimic alcohol and this was the case with Dad).

He was alert and making sense when he talked.  He could remember numbers and conversations clearly.  The house was clean, he was showered and shaved and Sabrina (my Mom's familiar even though she never accepted that) appeared to be taken care of and is even getting around better on that leg finally.

I have to say, though, beyond my Dad and my Sister, I'm just really not interested.  Even if any of the rest of the family were to try to reach out now, I just really don't want to deal with it.  I don't approve of or agree with a lot of the things going on in some of their lives and don't really want to be a part of it anymore.

More than that, where the hell were they when Mom died and I needed support?  Too wrapped up in their own shit to be bothered, I suppose.

No, I didn't expect anyone to come running and handle everything, I did all that either by myself or with the support of my little sister and Aunt D (I'm still very grateful for everything Aunt D did to help me because I truly had no one else to help me make decisions), but a phone call to say "Are you ok" would have been nice.

Unfortunately, the majority of my family are selfish assholes that could care less about anyone but themselves.  They want to act like they give a damn when it suits them but when you really need them, they're in the wind so fast it'll make your head spin.

That's ok, I really don't need that kind of "caring".  Let them stay gone from my life.  I wish them luck, and don't wish anything bad on them, I just don't need the heartache anymore.  Loosing Mom and realizing I had no one but my Sister was enough for me.

Funny though, how the 2 girls of the family that have always been the outcasts that got talked about like they were shit half the time, were the ones that stepped up and took care of Mom in her final moments and took care of Dad when it was the hardest.  Just goes to show, you can't judge a book by it's cover.

So, some things came full-circle, some issues got resolved, and we are prepared to embark on some new beginnings.  Although it wasn't how I'd intended to spend the Full Moon, I think it turned out to be a nice celebration anyway.

How did you spend the Full Moon?

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